sledge hammer handles, gut hook, bungee cord hook , aircraft cable, claw hammer

[mrgilmore at aol.com]

Hey Guys,
Jim Mason, you never hear from me, but this little bit of prose made me laugh so hard, I'm trying not to cry... Really.
I though Mr. Beardon had a way with words, but uh, he's got nuthin on you there bruh...
Very funny.? Hope to meet you one day, but kinda doubt I'll be getting to your neck o' the woods anytime soon...
If you're ever in Los Angeles vicinity - get a shout out my way.? 
Hasta lumbago,
Ron Jordan
Red 95 High Miler pushing 137k soon.


-----Original Message-----
From: The Masons <masonjs at nrtco.net>
To: Kawasaki GPZ1100 discussion <gpzlist at micapeak.com>
Sent: Fri, 13 Jun 2008 6:43 am
Subject: sledge hammer handles, gut hook, bungee cord hook , aircraft cable, claw hammer 


What do these items have in common you might ask? These are centre stand installation tools for a 1000 V Strom. Those cheap bastards at Suzuki don't supply this item with the bike so I picked up a new one on Ebay for about 1/2 the Canadian price. All went well until I had to install the inner and outter springs that hold the stand up. The diagram shows the tool to use is a spring hook--looks like a little hay bale hook. I noticed I didnot have this item in my tool box. I did find a knife with a gut hook on it and after several attempts and much cursing managed to get the inner spring snapped on. Try as I might I couldn't get the outter spring any closer than 1/2" from its hold point. My back isn't what it used to be and the spring is on the right side of the bike basically underneath in front of the rear tire. I've got one foot jammed against the front foot peg, the other against something uner the bike and I'm hunched over like dog fucking a football. I think Suzuki uses King Kong, or Gollyzilla to install these springs. Whoever or whatever it is, its a first cousin to the SOB that snugs up the swingarm nuts for Kawasaki on the GPz. Finally I gave up and decided to think. Jesus H C Jim its about time you did a little thinking here boy. 17 years of formal education (the 3 years in grade 5 were a bitch) going to waste. I looked in my tool box and noticed an "S" hook from one of those cheap black rubber bungee cords that you see lying on the highway and find in the sidewalls of your tires. I looked for a roll of hay wire but remembered it was at the cottage. I found a 6' piece of aircraft cable with a loop on each end. I grabbed a hockey stick. This is a bent piece of hardwood used as a weapon in a Canadian winter sport that is played on a surface of frozen blood. I realized the stick was too long to weild between the wall and the bike and noticed a sledge hammer handle (sometimes substitutes as a baseball bat, racoon finisheroffer, and wheel bearing remover in a Ford 4X4). This one looked like it had peformed all
 3 jobs. I hooked the "S" hook on the spring, placed the sledge handle inside the rear wheel rim, looped the aircraft cable on the "S" hook and around the handle many times to take up the slack, looped the other end on the "S" hook. I pulled on the handle and Sheezaam!! the hook stretched past its hold point. I slipped the claw hammer in behind the hook and pryed it over then released the spring onto the hold point. 2.5 F%@#*N hours to install a centre stand, 6 bolts, longer sensor (thingy that goes on the left foot peg to tell you not to leanover any farther or the centre stand will be dragging and you'll be in the rhubarb), 2 plates, 2 bushings and 2 springs. Boy I'm glad I'm not paying that guy by the hour. Now I can lube my chain without pushing the bike 1/2 a mile up and down my driveway.?
Just had a guy phone about my Hodaka Dirt Squirt 100, and the 250 Triumph Scrambler rolling chassis. Marilyn would be happy to see them gone.?
?
Jim ?